0 Negatif

Friday, July 15, 2011
Badan rasanya meriang, merentek, pegel-pegel nggak jelas, padahal "dapetnya" kan masih sekitar semingguan lagi. Only an ordinary enter wind :) atau emang gejala-gejala.....hamil lagi!

"Jangan dulu", "nanti aja", "Tiara masih harus di-fully supervise", itu kurang lebih pikiran-pikiran yang muncul di benak gw pas gw ngebayangin gimana kalo ternyata hamil lagi.
"Ah udah nggak usah stress, mungkin cuma kecapekan, telat aja belom, tunggu 2 minggu lagi", kira-kira itu kata2 yang bisa nenangin hati untuk diri sendiri.

Tiga empat hari berjalan, kok makin kesini makin was-was ya...apa di cek aja ya, kasian kan kalau ternyata emang hamil, jadi nggak makan sembarangan lagi..
OK, beli test pack deh, mmm..."am I ready to have another kid?", "am I ready to start all over again from the begining?", "am I ready to have more responsibilities?", "am I....? am I...? am I ....?" Hoaaaa... Too many questions accrossed my head.
The most important thing in life that I should care of is actually my husband. I don't care of anybody else, I don't care what people says about me and us.

OK, Today's the day, woke up at 5.30 in the morning, ran to the toilet for the earliest "pee".
And...counting...20 seconds left....30 seconds..and yep here it goes...
"WHATTT??? only 1 strip???" :'(
Perasaan campur aduk terjadi tadi pagi dikamar mandi, sedih, dan bertanya-tanya "kenapa nggak jadi?". Ternyata di beberapa hari terakhir ini sampai tadi pagi, actually... I do want the baby :).

Yep, that's the mommyhood feelin'.....Ketika gw tau (mungkin) akan hamil lagi, yang gw pikirin adalah anak gw sekarang, situasi dan kondisinya. Tapi begitu gw tau gw belum akan hamil lagi, gw malah amat sangat pengen banget. That's the undescribable feeling :)

I love being a mom... and I do want another one :) soon!